Searching Me......

Time Warp

2009-12-11T20:19:00.003+08:00

It has been extremely long since the last time I viewed my blog. As I clicked on the link that led me to this webpage, it reminded me of many happenings in my life that have passed. It allowed a sense of reliving the past and every post that I read filled the void of my memory. Incidences that I would have taken for granted if not for this blog to remind me. The time warp between past and presence felt so close and easily assessible just by re-reading these typed momories.

It has been great to have experiences that moulded me in one way or another into who I am today. Friends that I've met along the way and people who've encouraged me throughout my lifetime have all been a part of the pieces of puzzle that complete my life. I'm thankful for all the experiences and friendship shared. I will exchange these experiences with nothing at all.

Time passed and things changed. Here I am very close to where it all began. The very first time I saw the city. The initial adaptation to the hectic lives in Malaysia. The place where I first found what a real world consist. There I was and here I am.

Although this measure might be a little drastic but I still commit to God my future plans. I want to put the lyrics of the song "wherever You may lead, I will go" into action. Even when I don't see what lies ahead and I don't even sense whether the direction is the right one; I believe that God is good and that I can fully trust in Him my cares and worries.

"These are the days that were and these are the days will be. Guide me O Lord and I shall be:

...A Man After Your Own Heart..."

The Song

2009-08-11T08:46:00.002+08:00

The song is finally finished and I'm happy with the results. Its final lyrics are:

Verse 1:
We will do our very best
To rise above the rest
Helping and serving
With open arms and smiles
We will run the race with pride
Our reward is your delight
Customer focus at its very best

Pre-Chorus:
We'll let the whole world see
We will serve cheerfully
Dare to make a difference
We will stand tall

Chorus:
Hand in hand we stand
To give our very best
To be a service haven for you and I
We offer our hearts
Filled with openness
In serving you we'll go the extra mile

A song I wrote

2008-11-19T13:32:00.003+08:00

Verse 1:
We will try our very best
To rise above all the rest
Helping and serving with integrity
That's our daily quest

Verse 2:
Striving to reach our goals
To finally be proud to boast
The standards and services and people quality
To customers and the rest

Pre-Chorus:
We'll let the whole world see
We will serve cheerfully
And dare to make a difference
We will stand tall

Chorus:
Hand in hand we stand
To give our very best
To be a service haven for you and I
We offer our hearts
Filled with openness
To serve you we would go the extra mile

Still waiting for the green light. This might become an official song of a company. Can't reveal name yet. Excited!

2008-11-01T11:23:00.000+08:00

Spider Man vs Spider Crab

2008-10-06T09:56:00.003+08:00

Geramnya...

2008-09-29T15:40:00.002+08:00

Went all the way to a particular branch just to get my e-banking password done. I thought I would have good service and being a staff of the company, I expected to see good signs. To my dismay, the other extreme happened.

I went in and felt like what my boss would call a "dungu". There werent any signs saying where the CSRs are. The first people I saw as I stepped into the compound was the BSE and PFE and the QMS machine was there as well. Is it supposed to be there with them and not the CSRs? Then I took my number and while waiting, I saw 2 guys wanted to remit funds. One to India and the other somewhere else. Both of them were holding WU forms. I chose to stay on to see who would conduct their transaction after I've done mine.

First disappointment. Drove 10 KM to get my e-banking replacement done and the CSR told me that the e-banking "dah habis". Is there really such a thing as "dah habis"? I really doubt so.

Second disappointment. This guy with the WU form waited for his turn and went to counter 4. The lady at counter 4 exclaimed "Oh, untuk WU kena pergi ke Kaunter 14". I wonder why she doesn't want to do it. By right, every teller has the access to WU. If there is only one teller who can do it, then should have set up a special remittance counter or at least let this poor guy know in the first place that WU money transfer can only be done at counter 14.

Third disappointment. The poor guy got to counter 14 and waited for his turn and when the lady at counter 14 served him; she asked him to go to counter 16, which is the CSRs counter to get his Mykad photocopied and go to counter 12 after that instead. What nerve to ask the customer to do so when by right, the teller should be the one serving the customer professionally.

Fourth disappointment. He went back to counter 12 to get his transaction done. He took out his form plus the photocopy of Mykad and presented it to counter 12. The "man" this time continued to key in the particulars into the system. However, when this poor guy took out some USD to pay for the money transfer, the "man" at counter 12 told him that WU cannot be done using USD, it must be in RM. What nonsense again. Your customer is here not knowing how to remit and you just tell him that it cannot be done? What nonsense. He did not even try to help the customer in solving the foreign exchange difficulties or provide any solution. This poor guy went off dejectedly and I approached him just to find out what exactly was happening. That's why my story is so detailed. He and I went to that particular branch hoping to get things done but ended spending our time wasted at the mercy of the so called "good service". I'm really disappointed.

Is this how we treat our customers in the service industry? Shame on us who consider ourselves even professionals when the most basics of courtesy is not even produced. Shame on us who call ourselves staff of this company when we don't even try to do our best in our daily worklife.

Appraisal Time...

2008-09-25T19:09:00.002+08:00

Can't believe I've worked for so long. I would be completing my probation period by the end of this month. Confirmation result is just around the corner. As the days draw nearer, I would have to think of what I need to say during the appraisal interview. Well, I pray that I would be worth the confirmation would have at least made my employer proud.
D-Day = 30/09/2008

An Urge

2008-09-08T18:52:00.002+08:00

Industrial & Organizational Psychology at UKM
(Prospective Lecturer)

OR

Managerial Psychology at HELP
(Prospective Trainer)

Of narrow and wide

2008-09-02T08:40:00.001+08:00

There are always two sides to a story. Like the famous example of the glass "half empty" or "half full". It usually boils down to how we perceive things to be. Well, our human nature instintively causes us to dwell on the negative rather than the bright side of things. This is true especially when situations turn bad or experiences turn sour in spite of the many things that we can be thankful for. We often struggle with COGNITIVE DISSONANCE.

Much to my surprise of working for the last 5 months; I have gradually seeped into a constant cycle of routine activities and unchanged lifestyle. Now, I have to find time to do what I used to enjoy doing (Swimming, guitaring, composing, watching movies etc). Life has changed so dramatically that there aren't many perks in my routine. One distinctive difference is that life is not so carefree after all. Every decision made brings consequences regardless of the severity. Actions taken are all preparation for the future. Sacrifices have to be made in facing daily challenges.

Despite the changes, there are things that I am thankful for too. My career has started off in a highly demanding environment in which I learned much about creating and maintaining standards. As a result of a total change of environment from what I've studied, I'm gaining every single knowledge I can as all things are new to me. Hence, this is truly priceless. My constant cycle of routine involves training people, preparing for seminars, going for regional projects and even composing for the company. I have a home that is not far from my friends and am fully supporting myself financially. During trips back to my hometown, I get to serve as a musician back in church as well. It really is exciting. Although life is not so carefree now, I get firsthand experience in learning how to be a MAN. Ahem...

To ponder again on the glass "half empty" or "half full", I guess it all depends how you want life to be like. Happy or sad, exciting or mundane. "Half empty" or "Half full", it's your choice.

Think Money

2008-06-10T20:08:00.002+08:00

What Makes a Person Rich?

One day a father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose of showing his son how poor people live. They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.

On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?" " It was great, Dad." "Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked. "Oh yeah," said the son. "So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father.

The son answered:"I saw that we have one dog and they had four.We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon. We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight. We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.We buy our food, but they grow theirs. We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them."

The boy's father was speechless. Then his son added, "Thanks, Dad, for showing me how poor we are." Isn't perspective a wonderful thing? Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have.

The Call by Regina Spektor

2008-06-09T21:15:00.001+08:00

It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word

And then that word grew louder and louder
Til it was a battle cry

I'll come back
When you call me
No need to say goodbye

Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never
Been this way before

All you can do is try to know
Who your friends are
As you head off to the war

Pick a star on the dark horizon
And follow the light

You'll come back
When it's over
No need to say good bye

You'll come back
When it's over
No need to say good bye..

Now we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it too
Doesn't mean that you have to forget

Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
Til they're before your eyes

You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say good bye

You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say good bye..

Another phase gone by...

2008-05-18T22:10:00.027+08:00

The look then
Leading worship in CF

(1st prom; CPR in PD; CPR in Penang)

(CPR in PD; FRIM trip; Farewell for Weng Onn's batch)

Another CF meeting 05'

(CF camp "Together-Gather" 05' ; 2nd Prom)

Another CF meeting

(Foo & I, Other housemates in Pendita)

(First CPR and only 4 in the comm)

(Friendship Appreciation Nite)

(Another CPR)

Potbless at David's place

CF Camp "Together-Gather")

(My sis came to UCSI!)

The good ol days with David (@Pasar malam)

FRIM again=)

I can wait forever

2008-05-17T20:21:00.005+08:00

You look so beautiful today...
When you sitting there its hard for me to look away...
So I try to find the words that I could say...
I know distance doesn't matter but you feel so far away...
And I cant lie but everytime I leave my heart turns grey...
And I wanna come back home to see your face...
And I, cuz I just can't take it

Another day without you with me is like a blade that cuts right thru me
But I can wait, I can wait forever
When you call my heart stops beating, when your gone it wont stop bleeding
I can wait, I can wait forever

You look so beautiful today...
Its like everytime I turn around I see your face...
The thing I miss the most is waking up next to you...
When I look into your eyes then I wish that I could stay...
And I cant lie but everytime I leave my heart turns grey..
And I wanna come back home to see your face...
And I, cuz I just cant take it

Another day without you with me is like a blade that cuts right thru me
But I can wait, I can wait forever
When you call my heart stops beating, when your gone it wont stop bleeding
I can wait, I can wait, I can wait forever

I know it feels like forever, guess thats just the price I gotta pay...
When I come back home to feel your touch, makes it better...
Til that day, theres nothing else that I can do
And I just cant take it, I just can't take it

Another day without you with me is like a blade that cuts right thru me
But I can wait, I can wait forever
When you call my heart stops beating, when your gone it wont stop bleeding
I can wait, I can wait, I can wait forever

Thus was then now

2008-05-06T22:21:00.003+08:00

An empty street
An empty house
A hole inside my heart
I'm all alone and the rooms are getting smaller

I wonder how
I wonder why
I wonder where they are
The days we had, the songs we sang together
And oh my love
I'm holding on forever
Reaching for a love that seems so far

So I say a little prayer
And hope my dreams will take me there
Where the skies are blue
To see you once again, my love
Overseas from coast to coast
To find a place I love the most
Where the fields are green
To see you once again, my love

I try to read
I go to work
I'm laughing with my friends
But I can't stop to keep myself from thinking

To hold you in my arms
To promise you my love
To tell you from the heart
You're all I'm thinking of

Mark 6

2008-01-31T08:11:00.000+08:00

A Prophet Without Honor

¹ Jesus left there and went to his hometown, accompanied by his disciples. ² When the Sabbath came, he began to teach in the synagogue, and many who heard him were amazed.

"Where did this man get these things?" they asked. "What's this wisdom that has been given him? What are these remarkable miracles he is performing? ³ Isn't this the carpenter? Isn't this Mary's son and the brother of James, Joseph, Judas and Simon? Aren't his sisters here with us?" And they took offense at him.

⁴ Jesus said to them, "Only in their own towns, among their relatives and in their own homes are prophets without honor." ⁵ He could not do any miracles there, except lay his hands on a few sick people and heal them. ⁶ He was amazed at their lack of faith.

; a much pondered verse about being home or not.

Thank You

2008-01-28T08:28:00.000+08:00

Someone told me that being in a relationship is not to think of the "ifs" and "doubts". Thinking about the past is also a definite no no. Never say "will see how it goes" when it involves the other person. Hence, living in doubt and worry and seeing how it goes would only cause faltering consequences. Hence, the only acceptable thing to do is to work hard and try hard at it until your last breath. Another mistake would cause a lost of it all. Another wrong turn would forever change the course.

The Awaited Escape

2007-11-30T15:50:00.000+08:00

Not Trustworthy Enough

2007-11-29T09:23:00.000+08:00

It sounded like she didn't trust me for a moment.
The worst thing is that it's my own mother.
It is utterly true with the saying that parents would always see their children as "children" in their eyes. Hence, no breaking away from mommy's watchful eye.

The storm that past

2007-11-28T00:13:00.000+08:00

All wondering what happen on the fateful 27th of November?

It was my final presentation for my dissertation in UCSI. It also marked the last time I presented in front of my classmates and lecturer.

I did something really different from the others. I used a house as a metaphor to relate to the process of doing research. I had added in some jokes and queer actions to lighten up the mood of the audience although some might think it was all "Krap".

To me, I did a satisfactory job as I saw areas in which I could have improved on. However, I've received a number of praises for the way I presented. It was great to be out in front although my heart was beating faster than a bullet train prior to my turn.

Well, to top it all off; I wished all my classmates the best of luck in their future undertakings as I wouldn't be seeing them often already. Graduation and working life is just around the corner. As I type this, I really feel a little empty and I truly miss my times in UCSI. I always believe that every river crossed brings us closer to the destination and every mile traveled is always worth the effort.

The road taken must be remembered,
Watching closely at each intersection,
Even in times when I was severed,
I know that someday there'll be relevation.

The end comes scary as it draws near,
With many directions and various crossroads,
Although my heart is gripped with great fear,
I wouldn't cease even if I have to carry loads.

The calm before the storm

2007-11-21T18:51:00.000+08:00

27 NOVEMBER 2007

HOW BIG WILL IT BE?

BE STARTLED!!!

T'was the event

2007-11-12T14:46:00.000+08:00

Date: 26 October 2007
Time: 7.30pm
Event: Malam Sekalung Budi
Venue: SMK Seri Kampar
Songs: 1. Collide, Howie Day

The hall was filled with a nostalgic atmosphere. Although there weren't many sweet memories from this alma mater that I once crossed paths with, it was simply amazing to be present with those who once educated me 5 years ago.

I went there like a total stranger to most in the hall except for some teachers who were still teaching there. The principal of course did not forget this insignificant individual much to the thanks for my dad being a teacher there.

This year's event was very much different from the years before I left the school. Presentations on stage were much more rehearsed and the genre was very diverse. There was a student band who belted out "Malay" items, students who sang songs like "Standing in the eyes of the world" and teachers who sang patriotic numbers that enthralled the audience.

There I was in my only best stripped black shirt bought from "SEED" and slacks; holding my guitar which had been with me for 4 years now. Standing on the stage of course wasn't as nerve wrecking as compared to last time. Suprising thing is that I started to speak in BM once I greeted the audience. It came to me fluently like I had never left the language although I hadn't been speaking much for almost 3 years now. (You know, college and working is in English most of the time).

I made them hum together to the tune of "du dududu dududu" before rendering "Collide" by Howie Day. You'd probably be able to imagine the tune I asked them to sing along if you know the song. Well, I hyped up the audience, made them sing along and created chances for them to respond. I think it wasn't that bad after all.

Well, there are more skills and talents that I need to learn of course. Nonetheless, this has been an experience that enabled me to conquer my fears of being onstage. Ironically, I used to be unafraid when I was young. Hah, maybe things might return to normal. Maybe "systematic desensitization" is all I need. So, I will continue to challenge myself and welcome any gigs that come along... haha...(What a trumpet blower I am...Gotta be more humble in the next blog entry=p)

You're Hired!

2007-10-12T18:31:00.000+08:00

I was blessed enough to be one of the 50 chosen participants to vie for RM5000 and a job in the recent "You're Hired" competition organized by "Malaysian Today". The event took place on the 29th of September, which saw 50 youths from different colleges with various backgrounds come together. The next day, 30th of September saw the next 25 participants fight it out in the semi-finals. Eventually only 1 winner will emerge and 7 people who would be offered jobs with 1 of the participating companies each.

I enjoyed my experience there although I had to work from morning till evening on both days. However, my most valuable lesson was from presenting our team's proposal to our client - Ms. Farah from Malaysian Today. That meeting with her taught me that I have to really capture what the client wants and it is not only about knowing how to speak but to deliver the ideas that is practical, marketable and profitable. Without creative but practical ideas, no proposal would be able to make the cut. Here are some pictures of what I went through:

(Participants receiving instructions for the first challenge)

(1st challenge - Get the most respondents to sign up for JobsDB.com)

(Clockwise: Sher Li, Sun, Hui Kee, Fariz, Andrew)

(Photocopying registration forms. Had a long negotiating session for the lowest price)

(Semi finals - Advertise "Malaysian Today" with the most effective street promotion)

(Hui Kee preparing for the 2nd challenge. We had to finish preparations within 1 hour only)

Lessons learnt:
1. Always refer to the client's needs before progressing to the proposal.

2. Never underestimate the possibilities of "worst case scenarios".

3. Must always finish tasks in the stipulated time.

4. Should find out what went wrong in times of failure.

5. Aspire to learn from those who are greater.

6. Know what lies in the future and the possibility of the current capacity to reach it.

7. Place all worries into God's hands and He will direct and guide every step.

Upcoming Performance

2007-10-09T11:14:00.000+08:00

Date: 26 October 2007
Time: 7.30pm
Event: Malam Sekalung Budi
Venue: SMK Seri Kampar
Songs: 1. Collide, Howie Day
2. You and Me, Lighthouse

I still remember the first time I sang in this event in my former F6 school. I rendered 3 songs in front of a crowd of 600 or so. It wasn't the best audience though because everyone was busy munching on their sumptuous dinner. I wasn't belting out a great song and voice too. Well, that was part of the job of an entertainer I suppose. Here I am again making a comeback after 4 years by invitation from my dad to perform in this event. I don't expect much response or appreciation from the crowd. However, it is a time for realizing my tiny dream of becoming a singer. Anyway, "Seri Kampar" here I come!

It's all in my head!

2007-09-24T09:42:00.000+08:00

This week's leisure: FYP
This week's agenda: FYP
This week's business: FYP
This week's assignment: FYP
This week's "yumcha talk": FYP
This week's entertainment: FYP
This week's TORTURE: FYP

It never daunted upon me that the workload for finishing this final year project is so tremendous. Every single detail that is put into the paper needs to be supported and cited from another source. This week is not about the paper. It's about setting up for the experiment that will be conducted next week. Hence, it is a huge burden right now to do things right and do the right things. Checklists, revisions, consultations, resources are all but the parts of ensuring the experiment goes well. It is my hope that the tools that I use would not create any complications. There are softwares that I need to learn to use and materials that I need to buy, which might amount up to RMxxx.xx that is clearly cut-throat. Anyway, I would want to have fun in doing this too. Need to always remind myself of the reason I'm doing this research. The objectives that I've set in the research proposal and the extent of the research that I first planned. All these comes very much into the direction and motivation that I need for the remaining days of the project till the day when it is due. As stress settles in, the thought of giving up increases. Nonetheless, I will try to make it worth the risks and efforts. The fruit that bears after this would be so much to reap...Amen!

Introducing me and my crib

2007-09-16T20:23:00.000+08:00

(This is me)

(A cute shelf in my crib)

(Spot the blue hippo)

(My crib from one angle)

(My crib from another angle)

Of course my crib (David also) is not as nice as a celebrity's crib but it is very comfy nonetheless. Haha... We share many "snoring" moments together... Keke...

Mun Yee, don't hit me with the rake ya. I'm not doing anything behind your back with David. We are clean... Hehe... (Oh, you are so happy to rake leaves; why not help me with sweeping my place?...Keke..)

It's driving me crazy

2007-09-13T15:57:00.000+08:00

Just when I thought that my research topic is refined enough, then came an inevitable contribution from another lecturer on one of the variables. Reading comprehension, though basic can be defined into 6 levels:

1. Following simple instructions.

2. Noting details.

3. Sequencing events.

4. Getting the main idea.

5. Making inferences.

6. Making generalization.

Well, it is yet another journey of looking into the level that I am targeting on before actually running the real experiment. This is more tideous than I thought as more information unfold at the last minute and I only have 5 weeks left to report my research findings. It's really driving me crazy.

That's what she said...

2007-09-05T15:24:00.000+08:00

Early into the semester during the first day when class commences, this is what my lecturer had to say:

"Andrew, I want you to come and see me in my office before the end of the week to check on your progress of your final year project. This is serioius; we don't have much time!"

That's all that she said and I'm expecting myself to get my ass out of the holiday mood and shake off the early semester blues and start pumping time into continuing with my final year project. "Bummers...=/"

Secret, by Jay Chow

2007-09-03T14:22:00.000+08:00

Secret That Cannot Be Told

Composer: Jay Chou (周杰伦)

Lyricist: Vincent Fang (方文山)

Theme song for the movie "Secret"

The cold coffee leaves the coaster

I hold my feelings very far back

I work hard wanting to get the past back

You can still see it as always clearly on my face

The most beautiful thing wasn't the rainy day

It was the eaves that you and I once took shelter under from the rain

The images of our memories

As I'm swinging on the swing

The dream starts to not be sweet

You say gradually let go of love

Then you will walk farther

Why go changing

The time that has already been missed

You use your fingertip

To stop me from saying goodbye

I imagine you by my side

Before I completely lose you

You say gradually let go of love

Then you will walk farther

Perhaps the loss of fate

Only let us meet

Only let us love each other

For this one season of autumn

I only discover after they float down

The fragments of this happiness

How am I going to pick them up?

Current favourite song. Translation provided here...=)

In between

2007-08-21T01:12:00.000+08:00

Graduation is just around the corner. Just one more semester before the actual test of the "real" world. So many questions ringing in the head. Looking back is a revelation of missed opportunities and failed attempts. However, there is comfort in seeing those little successes that spiced up the process thus far. At the present is yet a question mark of uncertainties. So much have changed eversince. Lifestyle, involvements, accomodation, friends, hobbies and commitments. Who would have guessed that life would take a 360 degree turn. Attempts to predict the future only go as far as a few years and not beyond that. A stable job in the city whilst saving for further education (Managerial Psychology/Clinical Psychology). Somehow, nothing is clear, needless to say definite.

What is the path that I should take?

Which direction should I face?

Another song I wrote approximately 1 and a half years ago:

Everytime when I just want to try

There's always hindrances that come and go by

And when I thought I could make things right

There just seems to be nothing inside

Lord teach me what to say

Lord lead me all the way

There is no one I believe (Coz I only wanna believe in You)

There is nowhere I could turn (Coz I only wanna turn to You)

There is no one I could long for (Coz I only wanna long for You)

My God and king

It's funny that it's when things are not going right, inspiration and creativity comes. Must such incidences happen only then can songs be written? Hopefully there'll be happier times for joyful songs.

Untitled

2007-08-17T01:41:00.000+08:00

(If I asked you to pray,

would you pray for me...

If I asked you to say,

would you say it to me...

And if I tell you what's behind my mind,

Would you get up and walk away...)

A chorus I wrote more than a year ago...

It didn't make sense then,

it makes no sense now too...

(There are many failed compositions too, these 9 years.)

(Hope that one day one song will finally succeed)

(Education is one thing, career is one thing and passion is yet another thing)

Like what one of my friends, Kelvin would say - follow your passion!

Just the other day

2007-08-15T22:49:00.000+08:00

Just the other day,

when things I thought were dismay.

Along came a special girl,

who gave me a night that I wouldn't give away for the world.

Yes it was my 23rd birthday,

We had spent it with gay,

She gave me a little present,

A surprise that was indeed pleasant.

This came out when the wrapper and box were opened,

My very own first jersy that I have favoured,

I couldn't believe my eyes in the first place,

It was about 30 seconds I stood in a daze.

Still in a happy mood we took a picture,

To capture a moment that again will never feature,

I meant celebrating my 23rd birthday again,

And tonight I deem as the total opposite of "plain".

The truth of the night came at the end of the meal,

At a time when it feels like skin starts to peel,

Alas, she took out the only "green" in her purse,

Claiming that this has always been the birthday "curse". (paying for the meal...Haha...)

Thank you, Mun Yee

A pleasant surprise indeed

2007-08-14T02:55:00.000+08:00

It was really unexpected that some of my CF friends came over to celebrate my birthday.
"Really people. I mean it. I was taken by surprise...=)"
A big thank you to
1. Jason
2. Wei Way
3. Leslie
4. Suheri
5. Lily
6. Josephine
7. Kennee

Seven of you made a sad boy happy...=) Yay, I'm 19+4! To those who text, I'd like to appreciate all of your wishes by also saying a big Thank You to all of you!

On a more serious note, today made me think of the people who have crossed paths with me these 3 years in college. It really feels like a nostalgic moment whenever I come to think of the times that I had with different people at different semesters. Although this goes on to say that "I'm old" but it also tells me that God has given me bountiful blessings in terms of friends and companionship all the way through. Even when there are phases when it's like I changed sets of friends as semesters progress, I thank God that some still remain as close friends. It's a blessing that there are people that God created in our lives to mould, encourage, direct and support us even in the most difficult times.

"Cherish a friend, while you still can."

(W.A.F.F)

It's a miracle!

2007-08-10T04:17:00.000+08:00

It's really a miracle that my lecturer extended the due date to one more day and I'm only left with one more assingment! Although, I know I shouldn't have procrastinated in the first place but I'm overjoyed just by looking at the "Word" file transforming into pieces of paper in the printer. Hallelujah!.......ZZZzzzz....

Contradictory!

2007-08-08T03:32:00.000+08:00

Just when I see most my classmates all done with assignments and projects, I ask myself what has gone wrong with me. I'm still struggling to complete 6 assignments that are all due on 10/8.
1. Independent A - Research Proposal (80% done)
2. Research Design and Analysis - Research Proposal (100% done)
3. Training for Psychologist - Training Module Proposal (60% done)
4. Training for Psychologist - Training Design (0% done)
5. Philosophical Issues - Psychology as a science (30% done)
6. Abnormal Psychology - Movie reflection (0% done)
So much for being daring to take 5 subjects this semester, knowing that the work is tremendous. However, I don't think I'll give up easily...=) I'm sure it'll be done by the next 3 days...Yahoo!

Never noticed

2007-08-06T20:03:00.000+08:00

It was yet another day of presentations and this time was something that I'm prepared - Independent A research proposal. I was so confident that there wouldn't be technical errors that I only brought my "pen-drive" to college. Thank God that there weren't any problems with my slides. My heart goes to Kelvin who couldn't even open his slides because of some "lappy" errors. However, he improvised so quickly that I really have to salute him for his spontaneity.

Well, I started my presentation by asking my audience to think of their most favorite song. I followed the pointer that was given to us during "Training" class by a real trainer that we need to bring our audiences into an emotional state before delivering the message. I was targeting at making my audience happy at that moment. I guess it worked "a little bit".

Then I went through what seemingly was expected to be boring - Background of study, Literature review, Research purpose, Research Objective, Sampling, Hypothesis, Procedure, References and finally ended with a Q&A session. Everyone was very concern about the practicality of my study and provided very practical ideas which I would be considering next semester when I actually run the experiment. Their feedback sort of uplifted me because some could even relate my experiments to jokes in the real situation.

I would like to perceive that I did well in presenting although I cracked a few "lame" jokes along the way. I believe that audiences would only be more into the presentation when they are on a lighter mode a.k.a enjoying my lame jokes... Haha...=)

However, my lecturer pointed out that my fingers were actually shivering while I was presenting. This was confirmed by the other classmates as well. Sigh, I never noticed! The other day another lecturer was commenting about my habit of sticking out my tongue during presentations. Well, this only goes on to say that I have 2 things that I've got to be aware of everytime I present now -

1. Fingers fidgeting &,
2. Sticking out of tongue.......=p

Camp 07' Theme Song?

2007-08-04T09:14:00.000+08:00

Introduction: G, C, Em, Dsus D

Verse1

We are gathered here today, G, C

To listen and obey, D, Em

Joining hands and joining hearts, G, C

In Jesus we are one. Am7, D

Chorus

Let us be the salt, G

Let us be the light, C

Let us shine bright together, Am7, G/B

Let us answer His call (to us)! C, D, G

Verse 2

We are brought into the world,

To glorify His name,

For He gave us a purpose,

In our lives today!

Bridge

Let us shine shine shine, C2, D/F#

And be the light! Em, D/F#

A breakthrough journey!

2007-08-01T02:18:00.001+08:00

Training Camp, 13-15 July 07' @ Impian Country Resort
Group 1
(Hau Shen, Siew Fong, Shan Na, Jasmine, Rey Chuan, Hwai Yi)

This was a camp that I didn't forsee participating initially but having going through 3 days of extensive activities and new found friendships; I would say that this was one of the turning points in my life as I discovered something that I've lost dearly without knowing

- my confidence-

It did not come to me so evidentally that what I thought I had was actually not really intact with me since the time I took off a huge load off my shoulder in college. Letting go a role that I've played for more than 2 years and being absent from it altogether was really a subtle yet deadly blow to me. Following that, college pressure had encapsulated me so much that I don't see myself as being anyone of significance anymore. A first time experience that my lecturer gave me was enough to bring me down to the pits of shatteredness and esteemless image. To top it all off, there wasn't a clear road to recovery until...

Training camp is a class requirement where I needed to be a trainer to the juniors and peers that attended. I didn't thought that I would be leading any group in any activities anymore because I perceive that my time has already passed and now it's time for new blood to gain experience. Furthermore, I was supposed to be one of the trainers in the camp and was kind of expected not to take any frontline roles. But the opportunity came...

Advertisement presentation. That was the change. That was the turning point. That was the opportunity. I stepped up and stood in front of the 40 pairs of eyes looking directly at me. I told myself that I could do it. It's just like any other times that I've done for the past 2 years. "I can, I can do it."...

"Andrew, you don't present like you used to."

"Hey, I think you are lacking of confidence."

"Is there something bothering you?"

"You know, you really stood out from the rest of us in the 1st semester."

"Something happened?"

Receiving these comments from peers wasn't easy at all. It wasn't noble prize attribution nor was it "Grammys". All that was said sank into me like the gigantic "Titanic" sinking. All that I could do is but to come to terms with and admit that I've lost - my confidence.

Ironically, there was a lot of support from close friends and juniors as well. On another occasion when justice was prevailed, they supported and encouraged in the most indirect and silent way. I appreciate all that they've done eventhough they do not really know me that well. A true test lies at the end of the training camp and the resuming of college again. Tonnes of presentation awaits and I'm glad that I've had this valuable experience in camp that changed me tremendously...

I am not so afraid now. I don't fidget like I used to but still stutter sometimes. I think it's coming back again. I don't recognize it fully yet but I know that the road to recovery is never as easy as it seems. Nevertherless, it is crucial that I search myself and claim that wandering piece of me...

-- my confidence--

(The day that I had to present the advertisment)

Back at your face

2007-07-30T00:35:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I wonder whether "man's best friend" does have issues too. Look at it teasing me.

Ironically, I'm as excited as it is also.

How time flies!

2007-07-28T15:55:00.000+08:00

One minute you're doing something and the next you find that you're doing another thing. That's how time flew by rapidly these few weeks. Assignments mounting mercilessly as they pile up on my frail body. As fragile a breakable glass pane has my body succumbed to the invasion of the much dreaded - flu virus! What a blow to a crucial period when the body needs to be in tip top condition. As bad as it sounds, the "Vitamin Cs" and the "Panadol Solubles" doesn't seem to have effect on poor me. It's as if I'm so tolerant to the drugs that they are not effective anymore. How would one be able to survive in the pits of piling assignments when the body is giving way and time shoots by without slowing? 24 hours a day is enough some would say - I beg to differ.

All Time Low

2007-06-25T10:41:00.000+08:00

In the midst of all things high
Surfaced the all time lows...

Think again...

2007-06-19T01:10:00.000+08:00

"Similar but not the same"
"The center of the middle"

Go figure...

Co-op II

2007-03-19T21:43:00.000+08:00

The site for my 2 months mission (6/11/06 - 27/12/06) (Not really 2 months exactly but time really passed in a flash) For those who are keen to be a social worker - call Malaysian Care....!!!

This is the hill that I've to climb every morning and descend every evening/night to get home. (I built quite some muscles during this period of time, only that the muscles are unoticable) For those who like jungle trekking - here is quite a jungle for you to trek through. Can even reach my house if you climb from here...=p

This is my ride. (Not the car, not the bike. Yes, the "mountain bike" 96' series) For those who like thrills while travelling - Kampar is safe for all types of vehicles.

This here, is my office. I spent a great deal of time in working and production on this couch. (Sometimes, it is my napping area also...LAH) For those who are working in corporate offices - you will never have an office like me...Hahaha...=)

This is a home-made office. Well, it has probably shifted by now. (These were the computers that I had to be extremely patient with because it only runs on dial-up with 48.6 kbps only) For those who love slow paced lives - Kampar offers you desirable promotions, apart from dial-up connectivity...=p

The playful boy who "teman" me at work sometimes. (He's always on the game boy so much so that his leg doens't bother him anymore - notice the dressings because of excessive scratching!) Remedy for those who like to scratch their legs - Get a "Gameboy"...=p

Reflection

2007-03-18T11:17:00.000+08:00

People say that reflection is always a good way to think about things that you've done or did not do. The objective is to evaluate all actions and to seek change for the best. On the contrary, reflection turns awry when all you think about are losses, misses and shortcomings of an ideal measure. Doesn't it defeat its' own purpose of evaluating and reflecting when all seems to be downward?

Somehow, it's been a semester of change when the end of college days draw near. Things that used to be important seem to be not crucial anymore. Priorities has taken a shift from plain situtations to the more fundamental things to facilitate the strife of completing the race that should have been since enrolment. It seems like a situation of hanging on the edge of a cliff with the top of the mountain in sight, just a few more metres away. The climb is going to be tough as the terrain becomes steeper and more dangerous. Slippery ice particles and the lack of oxygen are all but obstacles that make the goal seem faint to reality.

Will there be a legacy left behind? Will there be an impact or just a faint memory that fades away? All I hope is that those who come behind me would find me faithful...

Psych Day

2007-03-15T16:11:00.000+08:00

Best emcees ever......=p

This picture brings back tremendous memories. Like what they say "a picture says a thousand words".

Best emcees on a lighter note...

Dai Lo (Kok Hin) & Lily Susanti..=p

Eunice & Lily

Belting out a duet...oops... should be "Trio"

PEE 9933

2007-02-12T09:08:00.000+08:00

Who : A tout selling tickets
What : A vehicle (Bus)
Where : Puduraya
When : 10 Feb 07 @ 2pm
Why : Didn't want to wait till 4pm for next bus
How : Bought the ticket from the tout thinking I could reach earlier

Consequence:
End up reaching 2 hours later than usual.
Tired, sticky and piss off.

Reasons:
Bus driver stopped at a rest area claiming that the air-cond needs a break.
After sometime, the passengers demanded that he continue the journey even without the air-conditioning by having the door opened.
(Went on the way finally)

Suddenly, he stopped at a petrol kiosk!
Claimed that he didn't have enough petrol to reach our destination.
Claimed that his boss didn't give him enough money to fuel up.
He asked passengers for money for petrol!
Passengers refused (including me)!
I called my parents and they agreed to pick me up at the kiosk.
(After a pause)

A young Malay lad offered to pay for him.
He ended up distorting RM30 from the lad for petrol.
The other passengers went on their way as I waited patiently for my parents to arrive to pick me up.
While waiting, I saw the bus that I didn't want to wait for because it was scheduled to leave at 4pm, pass by the kiosk!

Lesson learnt :
Never buy your tickets from touts out of not wanting to wait for the next bus.
Even if you are truly desperate; do think twice!

6 Days to V

2007-02-07T20:57:00.000+08:00

In short, her name means sparkling derived from American english descent.
I find that she is true to her name as she is always inspiring.
I will always remember her laughter and the joy she adds to my life.
I have not really showed her how much I appreciate her these recent years.
Incidentally, many things have happened that brought us apart.
In a way, those things taught me to be true to my word and heart.
In another way, we bond like never before because of the trials.
It also strengthen our walk and faith in God.
In time to come, I pray that we will truly live out "INSETY" (a word I invented)

7 Days to V

2007-02-06T23:34:00.000+08:00

Will anyone be tired of celebrating Valentine's Day?
I've celebrated many Valentine's Days. Some were blissful memories, yet some just didn't seem right because of certain reasons. Whichever way, I thank God that He was and is gracious to me and have blessed me with only one "Valentine" that I thought of every year. I hope it'll be the same person for years to come.
Many things have changed since I first stepped to KL. Life was not so "mundane" with a lot of glitches and twists that changed and structured who I am. But nonetheless, many incidences have I pulled through by God's grace. So, who am I referring to when I mention about my "valentine"? Hmm... =) Hope she's reading...

My guitar

2007-01-18T00:45:00.000+08:00

My guitar served me well all this while. I wouldn't trade anything in the world for my one and only "Santa Cruz"; cut away guitar. Some might say that old things are not as usable as new ones. Well, not in the case of guitars. The more seasoned a guitar, the better it sounds! My guitar was bought in 2003 in Ebony, Ipoh for RM440 inclusive of bag. I've led in worships, had fun with friends, compose and even recorded with it in Hits Recording Studio, Penang. Nothing is more pleasurable than plucking its strings to tunes of my choice. Haha.... anyone interested in buying my guitar? You can contact me anytime but I'm not selling.... Hehe...

Someone said....

2007-01-12T16:11:00.000+08:00

Someone said that it'll be easy,
But I find it difficult....

Someone said that it'll be alright,
But I find it just not right...

Someone said not to worry,
But I find that I worry everyday...

Someone said it is happy,
But I find it quite sad...

Someone said it'll last for eternity,
But I find the end of the road...

Someone said there's still time,
But I find I don't even know time...

Someone said to be calm,
But I find anger...

Someone said to be yourself,
But I don't even know "me"...

Someone used to say "you must learn through mistakes",
But I've done mistakes and blatantly repeated it again...

Someone used to say "you must think positively",
But I find negativity always crouching at my door...

Somene used to say "You have done well",
But I find that I still fail most of the time...

Someone used to say "You will meet new people",
But I find that loneliness is my friend...

Someone used to say "Your hard work will be appreciated",
But I find no one knows who I really am...
But I find no one appreciates...

Who am I?
A certain emotion hidden in the depths of the person which cries out to be heard but greatly suppressed inwardly.

(This is depression. Never find yourself caught in this situation. It is extremely hazardous and deadly to any individual. Its effects is very detrimental until the incidences of suicide)

Am I trapped?.......

I'm back

2007-01-01T17:51:00.000+08:00

Just like the little doggie here. I've packed my bags and am back after a 2 month absence from the hustle and bustle and busy streets of KL. Well, after so long; I don't know whether I will be able to fit into the tight schedules and fast paced city. Anyways, thank you Lord that I'm back in one piece...=>

Best"est" Day

2006-11-02T23:54:00.000+08:00

Talk about having the best day of your life. Well, it wasn't or probably isn't the best day, but definitely one of the best days of my life. Every moment was valuable and worth keeping. Nothing is more precious than spending time with people whom you really care about and love. Today was one of such days. 12 hours out of the house certainly did not go to waste. I truly thank God for the time that I had. I think one very important asset of a person is to learn to be appreciative and grateful to the people around you, don't you think so?

Calm before the storm

2006-11-01T15:02:00.000+08:00

It's co-op time again. I've been picked to work in Malaysian Care for the next 2 months.

By the grace of God, I was sent to be based in Kampar helping the rural development office. Hence, I'll be 2 months near a place called home...=>

Work has yet to start (6/11) and I'm almost ready physically, mentally and emotionally for the work that would be demanded of me. Bought back attire for all occasions i.e in office, meetings, visitations to the "orang asli" villages.

But!!!!!!

Questions start to rise from my heart. Am I truly ready to embrace the work of those who truly love the "Orang Asli"? What are my job scopes? Am I going to be placed in an office or sent out to stay with the "Orang Asli" for some time? Am I ready to be staying out in the wilderness? What is my heart telling me? Am I spiritually equipped to overcome obstacles that might come by?

Tonnes of questions!!!!!!

Eventhough I have a million doubts in my mind, I somehow feel a sense of peace and serenity inside. Although the questions comes and goes, I somehow don't feel really bothered by it. I feel more like an adventurer waiting to do whatever task that would be given to me by my supervisor (my church member actually).

One IMPORTANT question!!!!!!

- Am I ready to come out of my comfort zone?

A question that most of us would be afraid to confront because of being to comfortable with where we are, who we are and what we are. I'm feeling like a pampered kid too in comparison with those in need of care, love and kindness.

Conclusion!!!!!!!!

- Well, Malaysian Care. Here I come....=>

A Conversation

2006-10-29T17:33:00.002+08:00

Sis : Mom your skirt is too short!
Mom : Is it?
Sis : The split is too high!
Mom : It's a pants skirt. That's why it splits. I only wear this at home.
Sis : But you were at aunty's place yesterday!
Mom : Oh, her son wasn't there; so nevermind la.
Sis : But....
Mom : Ok, next time I'll be more carefull.
(A conversation between a 20 yr old and 50 yr old)

Kampar

2006-10-24T09:14:00.000+08:00

Phew...What can I say...Must take a break from eating, eating, eating and sleeping, sleeping, sleeping. Have been eating and sleeping like a pig. haha... I guess going back to hometown is just so leisurely peacefully wonderfully relaxing =P

I went on internet and was surprised that there are a number of photos of this little town called Kampar. I only managed to upload this few. The photos are quite old. Maybe next time I can take newer shots when I get my digital camera sometime in the future...hahaha...

(A section of the main street Jln Gopeng)

The food looks more mouth watering in the real thing....

(min pao kai - Yum Yum)
(Zhao yun - Double yum....=P)
(Kampar Fishball Noodle)

Random Pictures

2006-10-18T02:27:00.000+08:00

(My Buddy Ah Leong & I)

(In exchange for flowers, he gave me his scroll...Haha...)

(One of my favourite self-portrait)

(I think the girl behind is Jesse)

(She's walking away from "Handsum" )

(Kekeke)

(Meet the Aus')
(Though we might look different; we come from the same factory actually)
(A psychologist, journalist and veterinarians?)

(My self acclaimed "Princess Wei Way" friend trying her hand at hairdressing)

(The guinea pig of the century - me)

(Actually quite nice...lah)

(Thank kews...Wei Way)

-A picture says more than a thousand words-

-The stillness of it tells of many stories-

-Down memory lane it brings joy-

-Things that happen today-

-Not forgotten tomorrow-

Overconfidence Is NO Confidence

2006-10-18T01:58:00.000+08:00

Sometimes being overconfident over a matter would bring great disaster because you tend to miss out on the basic/tiny details that are crucial. This is just what happened today.

-I couldn't stay focus.
-Found it hard to gather my thoughts.
-Heart palpitating.
-Just couldn't engage entirely in the conversation although I'm supposed to talk.

There need to be preparation eventhough you might be the most professional of all people. It is never too dangerous to be safe.

What I'm talking about?
(My group presentation in Psychological Research Methods 1 class)
Topic was:
(Willingness of college/university students in seeking educational counseling)
My part?
(Just a one slide "power point" on item-total correlation)

Tag or be tagged!

2006-10-16T22:10:00.000+08:00

Haha...
Full Name: Andrew Au Soon Kay
Name Backwards: Yak Noos Ua Werdna
Were You Named After Someone?: Yea, fisherman Andrew recorded in the bible and Soon Kay from LAME U,Lolz...
Meaning of Name: Andrew means "manly" and Soon Kay means "believe in Christ" - some say handsum =P
Nickname: Bunnycas, Ulat Beluncas
Screen Name: No name
D.O.B: 14 Aug 1984
Place of Birth: Ipoh, Perak
Nationality: Malaysian
Current Location: At home..hahar..
Star sign: Leo
Religion: Christianity is not a religion...
Height: 180cm
Weight: 57kg
Shoe Size: 11 UK
Hair Colour: Black
Eye Colour: The white part or the black part?
Who Do You Like?: Jay Chou
Innie or Outtie: It depends
Leftie or Rightie: I would say, rightie
Gay, Straight, Bi or Others: Others
Best Friend: Anilraj s/o Verdamanickam
Best Friend You Trust Most: A puppy named "Ally". She listens everytime.
Favourite Pals: Anil, Kwai, Leong, David, Sai Hong, Kok Hin & the list goes on.
Best Friend of Opposite Sex: Currently Princess Wei Way & Pwetty Jo
Best Buddies: David, Sai Hong, Kok Hin, Anil, Leong, Kwai etc...
Boyfriend or Girlfriend?: Of course I want girlfriend and she's 15Km away from me now.
Crush: No crush.
Parents: Mr & Mrs Au
Worst Enemy: No enemies.
Favourite Online Guy: Negative
Favourite Online Gal: Sheena
Craziest Friend: Derk Chyuan
Advice Friend: Sheena, Belinda =P, Josephine, David
Person You Cry With: Anyone who cry in front of me, I'll cry too...
Any Sisters?: Yea, 3 lil sisters
Any Brothers?: Nil
Any Pets?: Kept some spiders before
Any Disease?: Mortality
Pagers: What's tat???HEhe...
Personal Phoneline: Why on earth would I want to give out?
Cell Phone: Don't have. Currently borrowing one.
Pool or Hot Tub: Both in my future house...haha...
A Car: Nissan Sentra/ Hyundai/Honda Civic/Toyota Altis in the future...haha...
Your Personality: I'm a feeling person
Driving: Shumacher's coach...=P
Room: A part of the inside of a building that has its own walls, floor and ceiling (Longman Dictionary of Contemporary English)
What's Missing: A cross-stitch that says "Prayer Changes Things".
School: UCSI
Bed Colour: Blue
Relationship with Parents: Son and father and mother
Believe in Yourslelf: External locus of control
Believe in Love at First Sight: Nah
Good Listener: I've got friends who are good listeners
Get Along Well with Parents: Of course! But sometimes got misunderstandings.
Save E-mail Conversations: Yea, until it's too full to contain.
Pray: That everyone will get to know about salvation.
Believe in Reincarnation: No.
Make Fun of People: Sometimes. Only to a certain few but not encouraged to do so.
Like to Talk on The Phone: I'd rather meet up face to face.
Want to get Married: Engaged already.
Like to Drive: You bet!
Motion Sickness: Only when I'm already sick.
Eat stem of Broccoli: The whole thing goes.
Eat Chicken with Fork: Depends on who you're eating with.
Dream in Colour: My dreams are always in colour except when the lights are off...haha...
Type with your Fingers on Home Role: Uhuh...
Sleep with Stuffed Animals: Nope, but I have "Moo Moo" pillow.
Next to You: What' s not next to you.
On the Walls of Your Room: Water stains, paper, reminders, wires, cobwebs...haha...
On Your Mouse Pad: My mouse.
Dream Car: A car that's comfortable in driving long distance.
Dream Date: Just "you and me."
Dream Honeymoon Spot: Hawaii
Dream Husband or Wife: As long as she's a gurl. hehe. Yea, she exists.
Bedtime: Whenever I'm on the bed.
Under Your Bed: No eerie under the bed monsters.
Single Most Important Question: "Hoi Sum Mou?"
Bad Time of The Day: When you don't wanna see anyone.
Your Worst Fear: Roller Coasters.
The Weather is: Hot and so am I =P
Time: 4.30pm in Newcastle before winter.
Date: 16th October 2006
Best Trick I Ever Did on Someone: I can't remember.
Theme Song: Together-Gather
Hardest Thing About Growing Up: The increase of responsibilities.
Funniest Experience: Acting gay in Mid Valley
Scariest Experience: The dentist
Silliest Thing You have Ever Said: Birds and bees in an unrelated/unrelevant context
Worst Feeling: Painful experiences
Best Feeling in The World: I'm finally at the end of this tag....
Tag 4 People to Do This: I'm a gracious person. Don't worry, you are spared...=)

Very happy that I've finished....Yahoo....Don't eva tag me again....=(

Songs that'll never make it to the awards...

2006-10-11T11:26:00.000+08:00

1. Since the Time We Parted
2. "Ai Ni"
3. Girl
4. Most Precious Thing
5. Days of Pain
6. United Forever
7. Emblem
8. Worser than a Dime
9. CWG
10. Everytime I Close My Eyes
11. May Our Friendship Never Die
12. You Are True
13. May God Bless You
14. L.O.V.E
15. The Special-lest Girl
16. Good to You
17. Only Can Be Found In You
18. Jesus, Come In Our Midst
19. MOTHER
20. "Wo Hui Ji Shu Deng Dai"
21. Four Years
22. "Insety"
23. A Mother's Love
24. Blissful Wishes
25. Blessings To My Soul (it is you)
26. I Miss You
27. Hope That She'll Be Glad
28. "Cao Ji BB Super"
29. You'll Never Walk Alone
30. We Bow Down At Your Throne
31. Light of Joy
32. T.R.I.E.D
33. There Is
34. A Time To Fly

There is...

2006-10-11T10:41:00.000+08:00

Everytime when I just want to try
There's always hindrances that comes and goes by
And when I thought I could make things right
There just seems to be nothing inside

Lord, teach me what to say....
Lord, lead me all the way....

Coz there is,
There is no one I believe
Coz I only wanna believe in You
There is no where to turn
Coz I only wanna turn to You
There is no one I could long for
Coz I only wanna long for You......

My Lord and King
My Lord and King

Jesus, come in our midst

Saviour, Lead us to serve You

And give us, the strength in our faith

To follow, all of Your ways

And I only want to live for You

Living to praise You in all I do

From the mountains, into the valleys

I will worship You

With my whole heart, in all of my days

I will worship You

JESUS

For the price of 10

2006-10-09T16:53:00.000+08:00

I was walking home leisurely right after class and was stopped by a motorcyclist (Malay who looked like Indian) whose motorcycle was parked and he appeared to be in dire need of help. He spoke fluent BM and claimed to be from Kajang.

His need (as told by him):
1. Got knocked down by a someone and the culprit fled.
2. His bag was stolen when the accident took place.
3. Motorcycle is in need of repair (as he showed me the damage).
4. Need to fix his bike or at least be able to get home.

Hence, he asked me for help with sending his motorcycle for repair or lend him cash for petrol. After thinking through the situation; I thought it would be no harm giving him some money for petrol. So, I said I'll give him RM5 for petrol. (He kept pestering for at least RM 8) Well, what a calculative man I thought. (He even wanted my phone number so that he can repay next time) Of course I did not disclose my personal details.

Well, I really hoped that somebody would pass by so that I can ask another person for help. But somehow there weren't any passers by at all; how coincident. Sigh, I took out my wallet and wanted to hand him RM5 but to my dismay; I only had RM10 notes. Double Sigh! Well, I just handed him the RM10 and refused any offer of repayment and just left.

I write this not to justify whether or not he was really in need of help or not but just to let you know about an example of an incident that some might come across too. I might have made a mistake of helping him if he was a con. If every person he approaches gives him RM10, he would easily get hundreds of Ringgit daily.

Well, if you've had similiar experiences or suggestions about being altruistic the safe way; do voice up=) I think Malaysia is full of such people who claim to be in need (real or unreal). What say you?

*As I look into my wallet right now, I can only say I'm RM10 poorer today." Sigh!

uncomfortable vs painful

2006-09-30T23:47:00.000+08:00

Would you rather have it uncomfortable than painful?
Or prefer painful to uncomfortable?

(Choices that are not under our control)....=(

A bloody affair...

2006-09-29T15:54:00.000+08:00

It was late morning in a cold and bright lit room. A dentist and nurse were hard at work dealing with the hardest case the day has ever seen. Blood splurged from the wound. Overhead lamp, t-shirt, mask, spectacles, sleeve, gloves and forehead are all but victims of the reddish composition of haemoglobin and such. Never did this panicked the master surgeon and his assistant as they tried even harder to cut, slice, drill, pull, clinch and finally extract what was left in the severed gum - the wisdom tooth!

Case closed....

So you think. I headed as usual at 9am in the morning to the dentist after a big bowl of "pan mee" from a hawker centre that I usually visited last time. It seemed usual because it was just a week ago that I made the same visit to the dentist to get my impacted wisdom tooth checked. Well, it's only a minor surgery- so I thought; it wouldn't take long before everything is finished and I would be happily hopping home right after the short procedure in the dentist's clinic.

"I came for my appointment to surgically remove my wisdom tooth." I told the nurse as I registered my name. "Oh, have you had a big meal already?" "Because, you would not be able to eat at all after a few hours after the surgery." She told me so that I would be prepared. I happily answered. "Yes, I've taken a big meal before this and I am very full now." "Have you taken your medication before coming?" She asked again. "Yes, I have; right after my breakfast." I answered abruptly. "Make sure you take 2 antibiotics because it is very hard for the wound to heal later." She alternatively responded. I thought to myself, "oh, well; 1 more antibiotic should make the wound heal faster I guess." So another dose of antibiotic pill was my booster for breakfast that morning.

"Cuckoo, Cuckoo!" Clock strucked 10am. Dr. N and his wife (a medical practicioner) came leisurely and entered their clinic through the back door. "Don't have to worry! I can do this." I thought to myself. I stood there with my Archie comic laid aside and prayed again. It was very touching that some of the text messages I received that morning was full of encouragement. Knowing that there are friends concerned about me made my day better tremendously. "Well, I know that God is with me and they(my friends) are praying for me." "No need to be panicky now." I thought to myself again.

"Chak Sin!" came the nurse from behind the door of the office. In cantonese it means remove stitches. Well, direct translation would be dismantle string if you would ask me. Hmmph... Well, I guess I have to be a gentlemen and let all those "Chak Sin" people in first because their procedure takes much lesser time than mine. I didn't even know how long mine will take. Well, God knows how long and I'm sure he'll take good care of me. "Bou Ngar!" came the nurse again. This time she's asking those who came to do "filling" to enter first. Well, being the gentlemen I am; I smiled at the nurse and continued waiting. Almost fell asleep a few times while waiting but somehow there was a little bit of tremour feeling deep inside. This is going to be my first surgical procedure in a dental clinic!

"Boy!" "Your turn!" Hah, finally; I get to go into the office and get a look at the doctor.... and his nurse of course. Well, nothing to brag about. The only thing I should focus on is - my tooth...Sigh! After switching off my phone, I asked the doctor how long will it take. He answered in a calm manner that he does not work with time. "Omigosh! I might be in here forever." I thought. It was 10.50am and he made me bite a roundish plastic matter in my mouth and pushed a large suction thing right on my right cheek. What on earth is that you might think. Well, for those of you who thought that it is to blast my tooth to pieces so that it would be easy to extract out; it was just an X-ray machine =P

As, I looked at the slide; I felt sad as it is really proven that my wisdom tooth was impacted. It grew at a horizontal angle just behind my visible last tooth and would eventually push all my other teeth out of place. Hence, there was nothing that can be done except removing it. I took a deep breath as he motioned me to move to the other surgical chair where he injected anaesthetic into 3 different areas in my gum and asked me to wait outside for the medicine to take effect. Well, another 30 minutes passed as I waited patiently outside the office again looking at other patients going in to get their teeth fixed. Mine would be the longest of the day, I thought.

It was 11.30 as I was called once again into the office. This time, I was invited into a surgical chair full of instruments that I don't even know what they are for. The nurse placed a towel on my chest and tied it around my neck and adjusted the seat for me to lie "comfortably" so that Dr. N can start doing the procedure. (I'm still shivering as I write this down)

WARNING!!!! CODE RED!!! (if you consider yourself as fainthearted, please do not read on... Press alt, F4 and this window will close)

Dr. N started by using a sharp edged tool to poke into my gum to reveal the hidden tooth lying underneath it. (It was horrifying to know that the whole surgery did not involve using any knife to slice my gums.) He continued to poke and scrapped until much of the tooth was visible. (Well, I can only tell you what I saw from my point of view. If you want more visual details; you can ask Dr.N himself.) Just by poking and scrapping there was a lot of blood that gushed out from my wound. If not for the suction hose placed permanently in my mouth; I think there would be more blood splurged everywhere.

Then, the drill came. It was a healthy and strong tooth. The only way to take out the tooth is to drill it into pieces to ease the process of pulling it out. It felt like I was at the mercy of Dr. N as he forcefully drilled into the teeth causing me to shiver in my seat. (I was shivering as a normal reflex. It felt cold as the air-cond was above me and I just couln't control my wobbly legs from jittering). Altogether, the tooth was drilled into 4 pieces at different junctures because he pulled out 1 piece at a time.

After the drill, there was a tiny instrument that had saw like teeth at the edge that he used. That was really unforgettable. He pressed very hard on my tooth and started the instrument with a loud "BRRRRRRR" sound like sawing my tooth out. He pressed on my teeth so hard that I felt that my jaw was almost coming off. I had no one to call for help except Jesus. I thought in my mind " Lord, please let this tooth come out easily."

Then came another poking device which he used to screw right into the tooth. Dr. N had to place one hand on the other side of my face while pushing with all his might into my tooth on the other end. I made some noise wenn this was done because I could feel the pain. (He gave me more anaesthetic injection) He clenched the screwing device that functioned like a plier again and again until he got a good hold on the tooth and pulled with all his might. Twisting and turning and finally pulling out the first quarter of the damaged tooth. There were 3 more to go. (When is this going to end?) - 50 minutes.

Throughout the surgery, the dentist only made one conversation with me. "Your tooth is embedded very deep in your gum and it is very hard to extract it." I couldn't respond to tell him how scared I am. I couldn't even yell "help" for there were gadgets in my mouth forbiding me to move. I wanted to say that it was painful at some point but all I can do was to make noises such as "NnNgrh...Aaargh...mgggghhh". It was totally out of my control since the starting of the surgery. The only glimpse of how my wound looked throughout the surgery was only through a faint reflection on the dentist's spectacles.

I got out of the dental clinic after collecting my medicine and made my way back to my car parked some distance away and drove home to an empty house with no one around and tried to lie down to forget the horrible experience I had. I still had to fetch my mom from school and bring her somewhere that day. It was almost 1pm when I reached home.

I felt very alone that day. Knowing that the only one who was with me all the time was Jesus. I had to realize that Jesus was with me the hard way after sharing with my mom later in the evening...

Catch the recovery period in the next entry...=)

2006-09-23T18:30:00.000+08:00

It can be simple but sometimes the hardest thing is to love...

Our songs....

2006-09-22T22:28:00.000+08:00

These will always be songs of joy and encouragement to me........

Light of Joy
While I'm walking down the streets alone
A beam of light was clearly shown
I asked God
Is it you waiting for me

As I walked on to the light
My heart was filled with joy and pride
I said God
Take me to Your side

Being with the Lord
I'm filled with joy and pride
Standing on His side
In His word abide

Lest the body dies; I will never forget what we've been through........

You'll Never Walk Alone
My God, You're with me Lord
Even when trials soar
And now, in my search of You
Guide me Lord near to You

This is what I ask of You Lord
From this moment this very day
I know when I'm with You Lord
In Your presence I'll be safe

You'll never walk alone it's true
He'll be right there standing beside you
He'll never leave you nor forsake you
He will carry you through,
Yes it's true...

When you're down He'll be there
In your trials He'll be fair
All our hope is put in You O Lord
When You're there close to me
All my fears are set free
At that time I'll know this one thing....

Bon Voyage my dear friend, Anil... Anticipating good news from you...... Enjoy Newcastle.....=)

My song.....

2006-09-22T22:16:00.000+08:00

(The sent off at KLIA with classmates...)

From the starting of our time
Till the moment where we stand
I see you
More than just a friend

Times when things were just not right
And we prayed and hold on tight
We believed that someday
It'll be better

And after all that we've been through
The moments we shared that money can't buy
The bond we have that cannot be replaced
May our friendship never die.....

The complication of the simplest decision...(cont'd)

2006-09-22T22:12:00.000+08:00

Alas, it was a change from postpaid to pre-paid with the same number...=P
So, still can get me at the same dial yea....(Wink...Wink***)...hahahah

The complication of simplest decisions....

2006-09-21T00:23:00.000+08:00

Maxis vs Digi
012 vs 016
Postpaid vs Prepaid
Heavy caller
Heavy messager

but low on budget

what would you choose?

2006-09-20T17:30:00.000+08:00

Deceived by the 1st sign board that it's only 6km walk to Boh Tea plantation. Had to put up with 1 more km before really reaching the place. Well, it was worth it as some build muscles, some reduced fat and I obviously became slimmer. Hahaha.... Well, anything to do with "deception" ask Leslie (Yellow shirt guy). He says it's marketing strategy. Well, he's the man!!!

Sometimes, you just don't know how crazy these people can be. Well, it was really fun working with all of you...=P

Hope all of you learned a thing or two to move on to greater heights in the future serving faithfully.

2 are not in the photo. They are Byron and Su Ann...=/

From top left: Wee Vian, Aaron, Wei Way, Josephine, Christine, Andrew, Lily, Churn Haw

I wonder why there must always be people who exaggerate with whatever they see..... NO! We are not a couple.... Hahaha No "Brokeback Mountain" allowed.....

Jason is really full of "semangats". Will cherish the friendship we've made. Keep it up! Keep it up!

That's not all folks... There's gotta be more pictures than these right? Hahaha... Stay tuned...

Where art thou "Tooth Fairy"? Part II......

2006-09-20T17:03:00.000+08:00

Phew... What an adventure of traveling to and fro hundreds of kilometres just to get my tooth fixed.
The truth came out today during the dental visit. I went early thinking that I'd be one of the first to be checked. The clinic opens at 9am but the doc only arrives around 10. So, I went about 8.40am wanting to be the first. Surprisingly, there was a lady earlier than me. WalaWe!!!
To my dismay; those who were there to extract teeth or untie the dressing were served first. Apparently, those who went for filling are served later because it takes more time for the procedure. I wasn't on a mission for extraction or filling; I just wanted to check up on my wisdom tooth. So, I guess I'm automatically grouped with the "filling" people. Well, I had my trusted "Archie" comic with me while waiting for my turn. Hah, I finished reading the whole comic book even before the doc arrived. WalaWe!!!
I went in finally, around 10.30am. Aiks... What a long wait! There were lots of gadgets around the chair that I sat. Immediately, thoughts came to my mind that maybe he'll use all the tools just to fix my tooth today. However, he just used 2 simple tools. (one to poke and one with a little mirror) Before long, he gave the verdict. I wonder why doctors have to use body language before really telling us about the situation. He shook his head and told me that I need to surgically remove that "lil buddy"(referred to as new wisdom tooth) because it is growing in an angle that pushes the other teeth. Aiks...WAlawe...Shucks....!!!
To cut things short; I'm going for "surgery" next Wednesday and will be having 2 days MC. So, would be spending most of next week in Kampar. So, I guess the gruesome details would be exposed next week in (Where art thou "Tooth Fairy"? Part III)....Sobs....='(

Till then folks...

2006-09-19T10:54:00.000+08:00

There is more to come.... stay tuned to find out...=P

Where art thou "Tooth Fairy"? Part I...

2006-09-19T10:10:00.000+08:00

I wonder why I have so much complications with my teeth. Having filled a few cavities for the past 22 years, they are not getting any better. My most unforgettable experience was getting a cap over an overly damaged tooth. The process is called "crowning". That explains a certain shine that you might see whenever I open wide.
Today, I woke up to a painful pressing feeling at the rear of my right jaw. I thought there was something stuck between my teeth. To my disappointment; it is my wisdom tooth coming out from the bottom. Yay, some of you might say - "Andrew is finally wise!" But the worst part is the wisdom tooth from above is pressing against the little buddy down there causing pain and uncomfortableness. I'm planning to go back to my dentist back home for consultation or get it fixed. Needless to say, it will be another unforgettable experience again. Soft food and diet for now...=(
Sigh! Where art thou "Tooth Fairy"?

Long Live Daddy!!!

2006-09-19T01:29:00.000+08:00

I went back home last weekend. Wow, some might be surprised that I'm actually going back to my hometown. You see, I don't really go back often because it is time consuming and I usually don't study whenever I'm back. The reason being - Good Food, Get togethers with friends and Great house to hang out in. Hahaha... That's why going back would turn me into a very lazy bum. Or should I say lazy "Beluncas".
Well, usual Sundays in Kampar would be spending the whole morning in church and then Sunday school which would continue at home with lunch and lazing around the house reading newspapers, comics, listening to music and sleep. Hah.... this time I was on a tighter schedule because my bus to KL leaves at 4.30pm. Anyhow, that's not what I want to talk about now. Maybe later...hehe...
My dad preached in church on Sunday. I've sit through numerous of his sermons and never really can remember all his sermons. The usual response I get from people is that he speaks really long with comes to a conclusion that he's long winded. Hah... Now don't try to make connections about my long windedness =P
I wasn't in the whole sermon because I was preparing to sing "Mighty to Save" with Anil as the closing hymn in church. (I can't believe that Anil and I actually presented Hillsong's "Mighty to Save" to the church!). OKOK...back to the sermon. Hehe... I remember he was saying about being a universal church in the world. It really doesn't matter which church we go to as long as we are keeping our Christian walk right with God. Next thing, he mentioned about being chairperson of CF during his studies in the "Teacher's Training School". I paused...........
He has never told me about being the chairperson for CF back then. I only got to know through his sermon that day. I realized how I have not known my dad well enough. Although he has been through so much with me (coaching me in singing and schoolwork, making ends meet, and being supportive in the decisions I make and things that I do), it never came across my mind to actually get to know more about his past. I'm now heading the CF in my college too. There is really so much to learn from him and it never came across my mind. How stupid I am...=(
As I stood on the church pew thinking of how awesome my dad was last time; I come to realize that he never gave up. He continued to serve the Lord faithfully all throughout his life till now. Although he is not chairperson of any committee in church now, he really strived hard to earn a "Local Preacher's License". It's a license for a person to preach in church. I know it has taken many years for him to obtain the license and a great deal of objections on different occasions. He never gave up. He is still preaching and invited by other churches sometimes to preach too. I think he is a great preacher and I hope that one day I'd be like him preaching in church too.
A few things I've learnt just by listening to him on Sunday. First is to never overlook or underestimate the older generation. Second is not to give up even in the midst of the greatest trials. One of his great feat was that he took many years to realize his dream of pursuing a degree in university (He was 42 years old then). He just never did gave up. Hence, I really need to learn from him.
I know this might not be the best blog/essay that I could come up with about my dad. There are so many other sacrifices and good points to mention about him. Nevertheless, I would like to honour my dad and appreciate him all the more. He is the greatest dad of all. Thank God for giving Mr. Au Hoi Kiang as my daddy.

Still Fantasy?

2006-09-12T18:01:00.000+08:00

1. Talented

2. Great Musician

3. Superb Song Writer

4. Tantalizing Rapper

5. Consistent Performer

Just who am I talking about? Hah... Sure most of you would have known already by the first 2 posters right? Well, he's none other than a person whom I really admire for his talents and ability to write songs and record in such a superb way. If you're a musician, you'd understand what I mean when I say that his songs and music is very full. Indeed, the music itself keeps me listening and listening to it.

It's been 6 albums now and in each of them he boasts of at least a song that has "Chinese" flavour and most of these songs are the most popular ones in his albums. Now with the latest "Still Fantasy" album out; there are more "Chinese flavoured" songs and for once he has tried to sing more slow songs which are quite nice too. Way to go Jay.....=P

Well, he talks a lot about his life in his songs. It is indeed touching to hear him sing about his grandmother and mother. This time is a song entitled "ting ma ma de hua". Translated is "listen to mothers words. I think he is very close to the maternal side of his family.

He has come up a long way and acknowledges that he won't be famous for long in one of his songs (hong mo fang). I believe he is on top of his career as a singer, song writer and musician now. So many people look up to him and I'm just amazed of what a person 5 years older than me can become. Haha...

In a nutshell, he is an inspiration to me as a song writer and music lover. I sure would like to do my own recording someday, hopefully. Lastly, his songs are indeed "STILL FANTASY"!!! Don't you agree with me? =P

Dazed....

2006-09-12T01:41:00.000+08:00

Ever had the feeling that you are so enthusiastic about doing something but in the end don't get to accomplish it due to confusion or lack of information? That is how I'm feeling now with my newly set up blog. It came out of compulsion to try my hand at blogging. I'm sure you'd guess that I'm really just a newbie by the way I write and post my blog. Don't worry, I'll try to improve nonetheless with good tutors and hands on experience such as this.

The photo here is just for show. It really is actually me sometime ago in January this year, I think; taken at "Dome" in Jaya Shopping Mall. Well, it's just another attempt of a curious first time blogger trying out all sorts of "what nots" just to get use to the business of blogging. Any advice from anyone would really be appreciated =>

Searching me....

2006-09-11T00:51:00.000+08:00

Indeed, it is a quest for every human being on this earth to search and know more about themselves in different junctures of their lives. One very unique way is writing about ourselves... hehehe... Whatever made me say that. Well... here goes...