The Awaited Escape

Not Trustworthy Enough

It sounded like she didn't trust me for a moment.
The worst thing is that it's my own mother.
It is utterly true with the saying that parents would always see their children as "children" in their eyes. Hence, no breaking away from mommy's watchful eye.

The storm that past

All wondering what happen on the fateful 27th of November?

It was my final presentation for my dissertation in UCSI. It also marked the last time I presented in front of my classmates and lecturer.

I did something really different from the others. I used a house as a metaphor to relate to the process of doing research. I had added in some jokes and queer actions to lighten up the mood of the audience although some might think it was all "Krap".

To me, I did a satisfactory job as I saw areas in which I could have improved on. However, I've received a number of praises for the way I presented. It was great to be out in front although my heart was beating faster than a bullet train prior to my turn.

Well, to top it all off; I wished all my classmates the best of luck in their future undertakings as I wouldn't be seeing them often already. Graduation and working life is just around the corner. As I type this, I really feel a little empty and I truly miss my times in UCSI. I always believe that every river crossed brings us closer to the destination and every mile traveled is always worth the effort.

The road taken must be remembered,
Watching closely at each intersection,
Even in times when I was severed,
I know that someday there'll be relevation.

The end comes scary as it draws near,
With many directions and various crossroads,
Although my heart is gripped with great fear,
I wouldn't cease even if I have to carry loads.

The calm before the storm

27 NOVEMBER 2007


HOW BIG WILL IT BE?


BE STARTLED!!!

T'was the event

Date: 26 October 2007
Time: 7.30pm
Event: Malam Sekalung Budi
Venue: SMK Seri Kampar
Songs: 1. Collide, Howie Day

The hall was filled with a nostalgic atmosphere. Although there weren't many sweet memories from this alma mater that I once crossed paths with, it was simply amazing to be present with those who once educated me 5 years ago.

I went there like a total stranger to most in the hall except for some teachers who were still teaching there. The principal of course did not forget this insignificant individual much to the thanks for my dad being a teacher there.

This year's event was very much different from the years before I left the school. Presentations on stage were much more rehearsed and the genre was very diverse. There was a student band who belted out "Malay" items, students who sang songs like "Standing in the eyes of the world" and teachers who sang patriotic numbers that enthralled the audience.

There I was in my only best stripped black shirt bought from "SEED" and slacks; holding my guitar which had been with me for 4 years now. Standing on the stage of course wasn't as nerve wrecking as compared to last time. Suprising thing is that I started to speak in BM once I greeted the audience. It came to me fluently like I had never left the language although I hadn't been speaking much for almost 3 years now. (You know, college and working is in English most of the time).

I made them hum together to the tune of "du dududu dududu" before rendering "Collide" by Howie Day. You'd probably be able to imagine the tune I asked them to sing along if you know the song. Well, I hyped up the audience, made them sing along and created chances for them to respond. I think it wasn't that bad after all.

Well, there are more skills and talents that I need to learn of course. Nonetheless, this has been an experience that enabled me to conquer my fears of being onstage. Ironically, I used to be unafraid when I was young. Hah, maybe things might return to normal. Maybe "systematic desensitization" is all I need. So, I will continue to challenge myself and welcome any gigs that come along... haha...(What a trumpet blower I am...Gotta be more humble in the next blog entry=p)