In between

Graduation is just around the corner. Just one more semester before the actual test of the "real" world. So many questions ringing in the head. Looking back is a revelation of missed opportunities and failed attempts. However, there is comfort in seeing those little successes that spiced up the process thus far. At the present is yet a question mark of uncertainties. So much have changed eversince. Lifestyle, involvements, accomodation, friends, hobbies and commitments. Who would have guessed that life would take a 360 degree turn. Attempts to predict the future only go as far as a few years and not beyond that. A stable job in the city whilst saving for further education (Managerial Psychology/Clinical Psychology). Somehow, nothing is clear, needless to say definite.

What is the path that I should take?

Which direction should I face?

Another song I wrote approximately 1 and a half years ago:

Everytime when I just want to try

There's always hindrances that come and go by

And when I thought I could make things right

There just seems to be nothing inside

Lord teach me what to say

Lord lead me all the way

There is no one I believe (Coz I only wanna believe in You)

There is nowhere I could turn (Coz I only wanna turn to You)

There is no one I could long for (Coz I only wanna long for You)

My God and king

It's funny that it's when things are not going right, inspiration and creativity comes. Must such incidences happen only then can songs be written? Hopefully there'll be happier times for joyful songs.

Untitled

(If I asked you to pray,

would you pray for me...

If I asked you to say,

would you say it to me...

And if I tell you what's behind my mind,

Would you get up and walk away...)

A chorus I wrote more than a year ago...

It didn't make sense then,

it makes no sense now too...

(There are many failed compositions too, these 9 years.)

(Hope that one day one song will finally succeed)

(Education is one thing, career is one thing and passion is yet another thing)

Like what one of my friends, Kelvin would say - follow your passion!

Just the other day

Just the other day,

when things I thought were dismay.

Along came a special girl,

who gave me a night that I wouldn't give away for the world.

Yes it was my 23rd birthday,

We had spent it with gay,

She gave me a little present,

A surprise that was indeed pleasant.

This came out when the wrapper and box were opened,

My very own first jersy that I have favoured,

I couldn't believe my eyes in the first place,

It was about 30 seconds I stood in a daze.

Still in a happy mood we took a picture,

To capture a moment that again will never feature,

I meant celebrating my 23rd birthday again,

And tonight I deem as the total opposite of "plain".

The truth of the night came at the end of the meal,

At a time when it feels like skin starts to peel,

Alas, she took out the only "green" in her purse,

Claiming that this has always been the birthday "curse". (paying for the meal...Haha...)

Thank you, Mun Yee

A pleasant surprise indeed

It was really unexpected that some of my CF friends came over to celebrate my birthday.
"Really people. I mean it. I was taken by surprise...=)"
A big thank you to
1. Jason
2. Wei Way
3. Leslie
4. Suheri
5. Lily
6. Josephine
7. Kennee

Seven of you made a sad boy happy...=) Yay, I'm 19+4! To those who text, I'd like to appreciate all of your wishes by also saying a big Thank You to all of you!

On a more serious note, today made me think of the people who have crossed paths with me these 3 years in college. It really feels like a nostalgic moment whenever I come to think of the times that I had with different people at different semesters. Although this goes on to say that "I'm old" but it also tells me that God has given me bountiful blessings in terms of friends and companionship all the way through. Even when there are phases when it's like I changed sets of friends as semesters progress, I thank God that some still remain as close friends. It's a blessing that there are people that God created in our lives to mould, encourage, direct and support us even in the most difficult times.

"Cherish a friend, while you still can."

(W.A.F.F)

It's a miracle!

It's really a miracle that my lecturer extended the due date to one more day and I'm only left with one more assingment! Although, I know I shouldn't have procrastinated in the first place but I'm overjoyed just by looking at the "Word" file transforming into pieces of paper in the printer. Hallelujah!.......ZZZzzzz....

Contradictory!

Just when I see most my classmates all done with assignments and projects, I ask myself what has gone wrong with me. I'm still struggling to complete 6 assignments that are all due on 10/8.
1. Independent A - Research Proposal (80% done)
2. Research Design and Analysis - Research Proposal (100% done)
3. Training for Psychologist - Training Module Proposal (60% done)
4. Training for Psychologist - Training Design (0% done)
5. Philosophical Issues - Psychology as a science (30% done)
6. Abnormal Psychology - Movie reflection (0% done)
So much for being daring to take 5 subjects this semester, knowing that the work is tremendous. However, I don't think I'll give up easily...=) I'm sure it'll be done by the next 3 days...Yahoo!

Never noticed

It was yet another day of presentations and this time was something that I'm prepared - Independent A research proposal. I was so confident that there wouldn't be technical errors that I only brought my "pen-drive" to college. Thank God that there weren't any problems with my slides. My heart goes to Kelvin who couldn't even open his slides because of some "lappy" errors. However, he improvised so quickly that I really have to salute him for his spontaneity.

Well, I started my presentation by asking my audience to think of their most favorite song. I followed the pointer that was given to us during "Training" class by a real trainer that we need to bring our audiences into an emotional state before delivering the message. I was targeting at making my audience happy at that moment. I guess it worked "a little bit".

Then I went through what seemingly was expected to be boring - Background of study, Literature review, Research purpose, Research Objective, Sampling, Hypothesis, Procedure, References and finally ended with a Q&A session. Everyone was very concern about the practicality of my study and provided very practical ideas which I would be considering next semester when I actually run the experiment. Their feedback sort of uplifted me because some could even relate my experiments to jokes in the real situation.

I would like to perceive that I did well in presenting although I cracked a few "lame" jokes along the way. I believe that audiences would only be more into the presentation when they are on a lighter mode a.k.a enjoying my lame jokes... Haha...=)

However, my lecturer pointed out that my fingers were actually shivering while I was presenting. This was confirmed by the other classmates as well. Sigh, I never noticed! The other day another lecturer was commenting about my habit of sticking out my tongue during presentations. Well, this only goes on to say that I have 2 things that I've got to be aware of everytime I present now -

1. Fingers fidgeting &,
2. Sticking out of tongue.......=p

Camp 07' Theme Song?

Introduction: G, C, Em, Dsus D

Verse1

We are gathered here today, G, C

To listen and obey, D, Em

Joining hands and joining hearts, G, C

In Jesus we are one. Am7, D

Chorus

Let us be the salt, G

Let us be the light, C

Let us shine bright together, Am7, G/B

Let us answer His call (to us)! C, D, G

Verse 2

We are brought into the world,

To glorify His name,

For He gave us a purpose,

In our lives today!

Bridge

Let us shine shine shine, C2, D/F#

And be the light! Em, D/F#

A breakthrough journey!

Training Camp, 13-15 July 07' @ Impian Country Resort
Group 1
(Hau Shen, Siew Fong, Shan Na, Jasmine, Rey Chuan, Hwai Yi)

This was a camp that I didn't forsee participating initially but having going through 3 days of extensive activities and new found friendships; I would say that this was one of the turning points in my life as I discovered something that I've lost dearly without knowing

- my confidence-

It did not come to me so evidentally that what I thought I had was actually not really intact with me since the time I took off a huge load off my shoulder in college. Letting go a role that I've played for more than 2 years and being absent from it altogether was really a subtle yet deadly blow to me. Following that, college pressure had encapsulated me so much that I don't see myself as being anyone of significance anymore. A first time experience that my lecturer gave me was enough to bring me down to the pits of shatteredness and esteemless image. To top it all off, there wasn't a clear road to recovery until...

Training camp is a class requirement where I needed to be a trainer to the juniors and peers that attended. I didn't thought that I would be leading any group in any activities anymore because I perceive that my time has already passed and now it's time for new blood to gain experience. Furthermore, I was supposed to be one of the trainers in the camp and was kind of expected not to take any frontline roles. But the opportunity came...

Advertisement presentation. That was the change. That was the turning point. That was the opportunity. I stepped up and stood in front of the 40 pairs of eyes looking directly at me. I told myself that I could do it. It's just like any other times that I've done for the past 2 years. "I can, I can do it."...

"Andrew, you don't present like you used to."

"Hey, I think you are lacking of confidence."

"Is there something bothering you?"

"You know, you really stood out from the rest of us in the 1st semester."

"Something happened?"

Receiving these comments from peers wasn't easy at all. It wasn't noble prize attribution nor was it "Grammys". All that was said sank into me like the gigantic "Titanic" sinking. All that I could do is but to come to terms with and admit that I've lost - my confidence.

Ironically, there was a lot of support from close friends and juniors as well. On another occasion when justice was prevailed, they supported and encouraged in the most indirect and silent way. I appreciate all that they've done eventhough they do not really know me that well. A true test lies at the end of the training camp and the resuming of college again. Tonnes of presentation awaits and I'm glad that I've had this valuable experience in camp that changed me tremendously...

I am not so afraid now. I don't fidget like I used to but still stutter sometimes. I think it's coming back again. I don't recognize it fully yet but I know that the road to recovery is never as easy as it seems. Nevertherless, it is crucial that I search myself and claim that wandering piece of me...

-- my confidence--

(The day that I had to present the advertisment)